Back of my Memories (Heart Song Trilogy 2)
by dqmwartist
Summary: Michaela worries over how to tell her mother she is engaged to Sully and what her reaction might be. Only to receive shocking news that rocks her foundation.


Part Two

Back of my Memories

© 2013 by dqmwartist

I rose the next morning, going over to my dressing table. As I sat there with brush in hand, I thought about what I was going to write to Mother. Months ago, she seemed to want me to marry William; now would she accept Sully? I hoped so, but deep down I wanted to have her approval.

I let the brush fall gently through my hair to get out the tangles that had formed in the night. It was almost as if my mind was moving in a different state that only my body knew the motions of. I thought about David, pulling the old photograph out the back of a drawer. He would always be in my heart since he was my first love. Even just looking at the photo made me wonder if Andrew Strauss was really David-they looked so similar. I shuttered and pushed that thought (and the photo) back where I couldn't see or think of it either.

Sully was the present-day and the man I was going to marry-nothing was going to change or disrupt that from happening. I finished brushing my hair before fastening it in a braid and finding my clothes. There were things to do in town, one of which was sending that telegram, and final preparations for Horace and Myra's wedding.

The planning hadn't gone too well with the wedding, both feeling as if the whole town had taken over things. My children had tried to reason with both Grace and Dorothy to no avail. I sent up a silent prayer that things would work out for the best; Horace and Myra deserved happiness.

"Good morning, Horace," I called out as I approached the telegraph office. Horace looked up and waved but seemed a bit tired. "How are you doing?" I asked once I reached the window. "As well as can be I suppose," he answered. "Anythin' I can do for ya?"

"I'd like to send a telegram to my mother," I replied as a sudden rush of nerves came over me. "Sure thing, here's a pad and a pencil." I wasn't used to writing out my own message but I could see he was still busy with unloading the day's freight.

_Dear Mother_, I began writing, _I am writing to tell you of my engagement to Sully_. That didn't sound right, and I erased my first sentence. There had to be a better way to break the news to her. _I realize how much you have wanted me to marry and raise a family in Boston, but my heart is here in Colorado Springs. After our visit to Boston, my feelings towards Sully shouldn't be unfamiliar to you. It is my hope that you will be pleased to know we are to be married. Fondly, Michaela_. There, that sounded better, and I wished with all my heart she would accept things as they were.

"Here you are, Horace," I said handing him the telegram. He looked up from sorting, came over, took the message from me, and read it over. "Oh my gosh, you're getting' engaged!" He exclaimed much to my chagrin. "Yes," I answered with a smile. "Sully and I aren't ready to say anything yet; please keep quiet for now." I watched him nod. "Sure thing, Dr. Mike," he answered as I turned away, and he starting to tap out the message.

I walked down the steps, over the tracks, and towards the clinic. There were patients to see and I hoped Colleen would be there when school was over. On my way, I saw the usual passerby in town coming and going. I then noticed something which caught my attention: Sully and Andrew Strauss heading out somewhere. _Could it really be that I'm engaged to both men?_ Seeing them together made me somewhat nervous. Perhaps I had too many thoughts in my head and needed to stop over thinking.

"Sorry, I'm late," Colleen called out as she rushed inside. She dropped her books on the floor and sank down on the bench. "I got caught in a conversation between Myra and Miss Dorothy." I put down my pencil and turned, "What happened?" I asked. "Myra's been in such a fuss about the dress, wantin' it to be pink and not white. Miss Dorothy didn't want to budge, 'cept Myra felt it upon herself to make sure she wore the dress she wanted."

"Oh dear," I said as I came to sit down next to Colleen. No wonder she looked exhausted. "I trust everything is settled now?" Colleen nodded, "Yeah, but it wasn't fun being there in the middle of things."

"Of course not," I added. "I am glad that Myra is getting to wear the dress she wanted; after all it is her day."

"Will you wear white at your wedding?" Colleen asked as she turned her gaze from her hands to me. "I hadn't really thought about it, but yes, I will wear white." Colleen smiled, "You're gonna look so pretty no matter what you wear." I was touched by her words to me-surprised by them also, in a good way.

I felt happiness for Myra and Horace as I stood to her side during the ceremony; she was glowing all over and looked radiant in her pink dress. Horace looked handsome in his suit, but my biggest thrill came when I saw Sully so attractively dressed up. He'd knocked my breath away in Boston with his sudden transformation back then, and here I was blushing again.

All through the ceremony, I kept thinking about my own day, wondering what it would be like. As little as I'd thought of a wedding day, it all seemed so new again. The thought of my being in a church, surrounded by those I loved and the friends I'd made, all seemed surreal. Did I want to be married in a church? Or was I looking for a more beautiful spot? My thoughts were soon interrupted by the reverend's pronouncement that Myra and Horace were now husband and wife, followed by their sweet kiss.

I brought myself back to reality and followed them out of the church, down the steps, across the bridge and into Grace's Café. She had decorated everything beautifully, and nothing was overdone. The food smelled wonderful and was a great relief to Horace: he got the meatloaf he wanted.

Sully sat beside me with the children and Andrew nearby. I still felt uneasy around him. There was something familiar about him, but I just couldn't put my finger on it. He had tried to leave this morning, and perhaps that would have been best-the moment he started to recite a very familiar poem, my world fell apart.

I couldn't believe what I was hearing…this couldn't be. The same poem from my engagement party recited in the same way by the same man? I could feel myself slipping into those memories from long ago, how happy I was, and how much in love I was, only to have everything shatter, and now…I felt numb. I sat there for a moment taking it all in, before urgently following I had thought was Andrew Strauss out of the café and into the street where I demanded an explanation.

"I don't know what to say, what to feel anymore," I stammered after David had finished his tale of being, injured, captured, and then taking the name of a dying man as his own. This was all such a shock. I sat starring at my hands, remembering of the dream I had-no wonder the man was so familiar. I had been dreaming of David. My mind went back briefly to Cloud Dancing's dream of warning. Could David be that Hawk? I hated to think something like that would happen, yet here I was emotionally torn.

By the time Sully appeared, I just wanted to go home and forget this whole thing had ever happened. It was just too startling to be true. All the way home the numbness stayed, my thoughts drifting in and out. _What am I going to do now? I just can't send David away after all these years. And asking David to stay might not be fair to Sully-I love him so much. I don't know what to do_…

Telling the children and Sully what had transpired wasn't easy. Brian and Colleen had so many questions: wanting to know how they should address him now, what I really engaged to two men and what was I going do? "I don't know what to do," I said. "This has been so sudden that I haven't had time for it all to sink in." I then looked up into Sully's eyes as if beneath their blue depths I would find the answers I was seeking. He gave me a long look before leaving.


End file.
